Lately I’ve had a lot playing on my mind about how far I’ve come in my recovery and some of the things that have made that journey a little easier. Several people have talked to me about how hard it is, how sometimes even getting started seems impossible, they don’t know where to start, or that there’s just no motivation to do anything. It goes back to that “Just get up and change things” mentality that so many people have without realizing that sometimes just getting up is a major accomplishment.
There is this thing about hitting our own personal bottom; it feels like that is the end of it. It’s either stay there or let life go. There are times when we’re at that bottom where we’ve completely and utterly given up control. So the idea that we may have control over anything, let alone making a change, doesn’t even enter our conscious thought process. We accept defeat. What we don’t realize is there’s another side to acceptance, a beautiful side to acceptance, that we just don’t see.
Recently I got something to hang above my desk, where I spend more time than I’d like. That something reads…
Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.
This is something I have to say to myself a lot. A whole hell of a lot, and that’s ok. It gives me the strength I need to accept those things I cannot change.
When we accept the things that we cannot change something amazing happens. We free ourselves of the very chains that may be holding us down.
Take that deep breath. Think to yourself, this is what it is. I cannot change my past. I cannot change what has happened. I cannot change what led me here. I can only change how I react to it.
Maybe that first change starts with getting up. If that’s too much reach out to someone for help. If you can’t leave the house yet, that’s ok. Ask them to come over or just talk to them on the phone. Want them to come over but you don’t want them to see how you may have been living? Ask them to sit outside with you. Never discount the way fresh air can make you feel. This is about you. There are even people you can invite in and let them see the disarray you’ve been dealing with. Ask them not to comment. Ask them to just be with you. You’ll be surprised at how many people are willing to meet you where you are.
Even the smallest change can be a huge step. To do that it’s ok to ask for help. Just remember, to make any change we need to accept where we are.
Take a deep breath.
Take a deep breath. Look around.
Take a deep breath. Look around. This is where we are.
Take a deep breath. Look around. This is where we are. That’s ok.
Take a deep breath. Look around. This is where we are. That’s ok. Now say, “I don’t want to be here anymore.”
That feeling you have… that’s the Courage within you showing you that it’s there. You can do this. You’ve accepted where you are and now you can make even the smallest change. Small steps are still steps.
Remember.
You aren’t alone. You’ve overcome every challenge you’ve ever faced. You’re going to overcome this too.
Take a deep breath.
Take a deep breath. Look around.
Take a deep breath. Look around. This is where I am.
Take a deep breath. Look around. This is where I am. That’s ok.
Take a deep breath. Look around. This is where I am. That’s ok.
“I don’t want to be here anymore.”
Leave a Reply