Given everything that is going on in the world, I thought it appropriate to relay some of my own experiences and some of the things that worked for me during times of stress and uncertainty. Many of us are in uncharted territory. Working from home, managing children of all ages, managing ourselves, removed from our normal network of support, routines in disarray, coping mechanism restricted; you name it, someone is probably experiencing it.
This is one of those rare instances where I can take a valuable lesson from the chaos of a combat environment in hopes that it will translate to others. From what I have seen and heard, many of us are struggling with all of the current unknowns, uncertainty, and being in a situation that is changing so rapidly that it can be difficult to adjust so we feel safe and secure. It’s very chaotic and we may feel like we’ve completely lost control of our lives, or at least aspects of our lives.
It all reminds me of combat.
Not having a regular routine. Being redirected constantly. As soon as I began to develop a flow something else came up that threw it all off. There were over estimated risks and grossly underestimated problems. All of this made it difficult to establish any kind of normalcy…. we lived in constant chaos.
As I grew used to the chaos, I realized the definitive value in taking control of the things that I could. I felt better afterwards. It was waving a metaphorical fist at the chaos and screaming that it could not upset me because I could control these things. As long as I could control these things – these small, seemingly insignificant things – I could survive the raging current of chaos.
Those things were simple. Brushing my teeth. Shaving. Putting on deodorant. Changing my socks. Washing my face. Taking a shower when I could. Washing my clothes when I could. The simple things that are often left neglected when we’re in survival mode.
This helped me so much that I enforced it on those under my charge. As often as possible. Shave. Brush your fangs. Wash your face. Look, down time, get clean. My Marines and Sailors hated it at first, but after a while they did it out of habit. We’d come back from an exhausting patrol and they’d take the time to do the simple things. They’d sacrifice what little sleep we could get to get up and do the simple things before we rode the chaotic wave for the next 24 to 72 hours. It became their normal. It became their way of establishing control in the chaos.
While we’re experiencing this chaos where so many of us have lost control over so many aspects of our lives, adopt owning those little things. Control what you can and ride the wave of what you can’t, then take solace in those little things you can control.
You’ve got this. You matter. You’re perfect exactly how you are and I see you.
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