For as long as I can remember I’ve heard the saying “Practice makes perfect.” While perfection is a lofty goal, the point is that to be good at something it takes practice. Thinking about the various things that we regularly practice, it’s pretty accurate. Most of us get good at our jobs, the things we need to get to and from work, and the array of ways society tells us we have to conform. We get good at those things because we have to practice.
As I’ve gotten further along in my recovery I’ve regularly heard that I have to practice my coping skills. Practice reframing, practice anger management, practice breathing. I have to practice all of these different skills just to get through the day. Then I have to practice the tasks I need to be efficient with my work. Creating training plans, group facilitation, active listening, and a long list of things I need to have a level of mastery to perform my job proficiently. Let’s face it, we gotta eat. It takes practice to be able to do any of it.
When I’m doing some of those mundane tasks that keep my body moving I’ll get lost in thought. I think about a lot of different things but recently I thought about how no one ever really pushes us to practice living.
It takes practice…
Have you ever thought about what we’re told to practice? I can clearly remember being told to practice my academics, sports, and skills that would be marketable for work. I was never told to practice living. Life seemed to be an unintended consequence outside of the 40 hour work week. I think that’s why so many of us struggle, no one told us to practice living our life. And it takes practice.
Now, I’m not saying that the things we were forced to practice to keep a roof over our heads was bad. I am saying that there’s a hell of a lot more to life than just that. I want to do more than just live to work. When I wake up in the morning I need to breathe in the possibilities of a new day. Go outside to soak up the morning sun. Sit down with a cup of coffee and reflect on everything I have to be grateful for. Exercise to get the blood flowing and be in touch with my body. Spend time talking with those I love before engaging in work. Making an effort to really be present in the moment and NOT to worry about what’s at work. We aren’t there yet. It takes practice.
When you’re at work… Work
Here’s my flip side. Work when you’re at work. Face each task head on and get them done. There’s a purpose to this and doing the work at work gives you time to live life. Put down the phone and stop filling your time with a small talk. Be polite, be cordial, be ruthless in protecting your time to work.
When you finish work, leave it at work. That’s something that I can’t stress enough, leave work at work. I promise you, work will be there when you get back from living your life. If you think this may be encouragement for the concept of quiet quitting…. you’re absolutely right! If you haven’t heard of quiet quitting, read about it here: Quiet Quitting, What it really is. Go to work to work. Get your job done for the day and then leave it there and get back to life.
Live Your Life
There is no secret recipe for living life to the fullest and finding happiness. It just takes practice. Coming home from work at the end of the day should involve a ritual. It doesn’t matter how you do it, leave work at work. Take some time and sit in the care in the driveway before you walk in. Sing loudly in the car on the commute home or do a breathing exercise. Just leave work behind.
Life needs us to be present. Practice that by focusing on things you enjoy doing. Regardless of that it is, let the societal pressure go. If you enjoy knitting, knit. Want to learn how to build something, do it. Find a new recipe, buy the ingredients, and cook. All of these things require us to do something for ourselves. That’s how we live life. But, it takes practice.
Of the many things I enjoy doing, reading is pretty high up on my list. It started because winters are cold in Buffalo and I was almost always broke. I spent a lot of time at Erie County Library in downtown Buffalo, NY. They have an amazing rare book collection by the way. Henry David Thoreau is one of my favorite authors and I have read his writing voraciously throughout my life. There is a passage that will always stand out to me:
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms…
Henry David Thoreau – Walden; Or Life in the Woods
Living life like that takes practice. Throughout your days ahead, take the time to practice living. It doesn’t take a lot of work and it’s worth every single minute of it.
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