For anyone who knows me, they’ll know that the Serenity Prayer holds significant meaning to my recovery. While the understanding of it has developed and changed over the years as I come to grips with my higher power as I understand them.
Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
In my own recovery being able to accept some things without judgement, criticism, or despair. Allowing certain aspects to just be. That was a major point of growth. Engaging with as many peers as I do, there seems to be a shared sentiment that a catalyst in recovery seems to revolve somewhere within the concept of being able to accept that some of our experiences, we have to unequivocally accept.
There have been points where I’ve discussed this as the ever so clinical, “Locus of Control” or as I prefer, the ability to say, “This is not my circus, and these are not my monkeys”.
It feels pretty uplifting and empowering to accept those things.
Courage to change the things I can.
The other side of acceptance lies in changing the things we can. For my journey this involved how I reacted to some of the things I couldn’t change. When you have that moment where you say to yourself, “Oh $#!@, this is my circus, and these are my monkeys.” Reluctantly, we accept that fact, and all we can do, the only thing in our power, is to change the way we react.
Instead of reacting with emotion, we react calmly and release our emotions in other ways. Instead of locking ourselves away from disappointment, we accept what has happened and remind ourselves other opportunities will come.
Recently, I’ve had the honor to bear witness as other peers share their growth and how uplifting it can feel when they realized they didn’t have to react in a negative or harmful way to something they could not change. They embraced serenity and accepted, then they had the courage to change their reaction, and beautifully, recognized their personal growth and the steps they’ve made along their own path of recovery. I am eternally grateful to witness that.
The Wisdom to know the difference…
After bearing witness to their growth I had my own moment last night. A moment I recognized and appreciated this morning. Currently, we live in a space where opinions are charged and we often struggle to communicate with each other. Unfortunately, this has made social media, an area many of us go to stay connected and feel involved, an area where we have to tread lightly as arguments flare, opinions agitate, and nearly anything can incite a negative and sometimes hurtful response.
In the past I’ve accepted the views of others and attempted to temper my response as to create a safe space for discussion and not pour fuel on smoldering embers. Admittedly, I’ve caught myself in the past so upset by something I see that I would not only pour fuel on the fire but I’d also fan the flames….
But I’ve grown.
Within that growth is the knowledge and wisdom that I can choose NOT to respond. I don’t have to respond to everything. Sometimes I can accept it for what it is. Accept that person exactly where they are. And then, have the courage to not respond. Not everything in the world needs my reaction. I’m merely a man with a dog, walking my path of recovery. That’s enough for me.
I recognize and am humbly grateful for my growth and I hold on to hope that you will experience the gift of recognizing your own growth.
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